Transmogrifier

Of Uncle Pai, IIT-B and BQC Open

Surya — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 12:52:16 +0000

As a little girl, seated at my study table, pretending to solve the much yawn-inducing Math worksheets assigned from school, I used to squeeze Tinkle comics under the damn thing and read them when nobody noticed. Yes. Stealthily. Like a mouse crouching in a corner nibbling on cheese. And I used to try my best to not show any of the myriad of emotions the comic took me through. Not to glow in the face when I solved one of those Tinkle Treats and Tricks; not to ‘eww’ when Chamataka gets bathed in a bucket full of coal-tar as a result of a failed plan to kill Kalia; not to facepalm when Suppandi makes a fool of himself (yet again). I had to be very careful; always keep a grim, this-Trigonometry-problem-is-so-tough-I-need-to-concentrate look on my face with my forehead pointed. Lest my mom notices and comes to investigate.

Among all the characters that Uncle Pai left behind, my favourite was Suppandi. His elongated half-head, long jaw and huge nose amused me. Coupled with his loose shorts (called ‘Senthil shorts’ in the South film industry), his red t-shirt and the way he changed his masters by the dozen, Suppandi was a sight to see. His clumsiness, stubbornness and uncanny ability to do EVERYTHING wrong were things that made Suppandi an epic comic character. I adored him.

Now imagine a room full of Suppandis, who are not even funny. On Sunday, 6th March’11, I attended a full-day event at IIT-Bombay – The BQC Open Quiz. And I couldn’t help but chuckle as the students of IIT-Bombay reminded me of the village simpleton. The clumsiness of the student organizers and their unparalleled ability in getting almost everything wrong. Except that Suppandi was innocent, genuinely ignorant and naive. He just couldn’t get a single task right. And genuinely so. But the IIT-B junta aren’t even innocent. For years now, I have noticed their casual approach towards organizing an event.

From what I gather, the BQC team had sent them detailed mails of instructions for the event. Availability of the auditorium, the mic systems, sound, buzzers, and other logistical requirements. And still, the last minute ‘jugaad’ for the buzzers, a lecture hall instead of the promised auditorium as the venue and absence of mics.

This is not the first time. Each time a quiz event happens at IIT-B, I have been witness to this kind of technological mismanagement. Why they failed to deliver was beyond me. Maybe, now I know why. Suppandi as a character was entertaining because of his ignorance at comprehending his own foolishness. Imagine another layer to him now. What if he knew what he is doing and still continued to do it? Its not ‘ignorance’ anymore, but ‘arrogance’. And you feel nothing but disgust and anger at such a character. That’s exactly what IIT-B student organizers come across as. Unbelievably clumsy with almost a ‘ok, chill da…why care?’ written on their faces. Year after year. (Link)

What irks me most is that in spite of the BQC team putting up such a fantastic show with high quality research, entertaining questions, and interesting formats, this review is overshadowed by the dismal arrangements made by the IIT-B students.

Coming to the quizzes, the BQC team put up an awesome event with a students-only general, an open sports and an open general quiz. The students general quiz conducted by Vikram Joshi and Pradeep Ramarathnam was thoroughly entertaining with questions ranging from Bunga Bunga to Kanga League. I felt the level of questions for students was just right with most of them being cracked by either the teams or audience members. It’s a good thing to keep the quiz on the easier side for students. They like to go home happy and entertained. Pradeep and Vikram did a good job of the hosting bit taking turns round wise.

The Sports quiz conducted by Atul Mathew, Anannya Deb and Anand Sivasankar was a decent show. (Note: I’m not too much into sports). What I liked most about it was their intention to make it an all-inclusive sports quiz. From styles of table-tennis grips to Kenenisa Bekele’s personal tragedy to Parvez Musharraf’s quote on Jahangir Khan, this was one informative quiz. However, I felt it could have been more entertaining with Cricket fundas. ‘Coz lets face it. In India, sport means Cricket. And it is essential to cater to the audience that’s there to just have some fun on a Sunday afternoon. In addition, the questions could have been shorter with more audio-visuals peppered in and a bit of coordination between the quizmasters would have helped. Hard core stuff deserves accolades.

This was followed by the Open General quiz by the big daddies – Rajiv Rai, Sumant Srivatsan and Vibhendu Tiwari. For anyone who’s wondering, why big daddies? Well, the slides were flawless, the questions ranged from moderately easy to real hard core toughies. I loved the history and entertainment questions specifically. My favourites: Kanchipuram sari shade MS Blue (named after MS Subbulakshmi) and the connection between AR Rahman, Tuntun and Hemlata. For me though, the highlight of this quiz was Sumant’s hosting. It was heartening to see him actually make an effort to walk to each team with the mic and MAKE them speak into it. And coupled with his witty comments and leg-pulls here and there, Sumant brought in some life after a long day of quizzing. With the absence of mics for teams, most of the times the audience couldn’t hear them during the other two quizzes. So Sumant, I felt, made it rather delightful.

All in all, a good day of quizzing for those who followed Rajiv’s advice and turned up, rather than watching the sissy cricket match at home. I have given up on IIT-Bombay students with regards to their ability to conduct an event flawlessly. Its not that they cannot. They just don’t have the intention. So here’s hoping BQC Open grows from strength to strength, and adds rich value to the already existing quizzing culture for years to come. As for IIT-Bombay event organizers, their anthem will always be the famous bath-tub song from Veer Zaara, ‘Hum Toh Bhai Jaise Hain, Vaise Rahenge.’

(Results of the quiz and snaps here: Link)

IIFT, Kolkata – Open General Quiz Review

Surya — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 08:37:25 +0000

Sipping My Fair Lady at Moulin Rouge, Park Street, Kolkata with a bunch of students from Indian Institute of Foreign Trade, I wished I could spend atleast one more day in the wonderful city. The open general quiz conducted by us (QuizMonks) had concluded an hour ago and it was celebration time. We huddled in one corner of the restaurant and spoke about the quiz, questions, Kolkata quizzers, films, music, Calvin & Hobbes, Facebook, MBA, jobs and much more.

Earlier during the day, casual conversations with the students brought out the perceived image of Kolkata being quite a lethargic city. Shops pull-down shutters in the afternoons for naps, auto-rickshaws ply only fixed routes and quizzes (usually) don’t begin on time. This was partly right as the participants started filing into the auditorium only by 4.30 pm, an hour after registrations began.

Much different from Mumbai and its chaotic lifestyle, Kolkata is really one of those cities where people are pretty much at-their-own-pace. They don’t seem hurried and certainly not hassled. But, the auditorium was soon buzzing with participants switching seats, shuffling around, greeting each other and planning local quizzes and quiz club meets like one big happy family.

Lethargy or not, what we witnessed was a high spirited bunch of quizzers – agile and enthusiastic. Much like Chennai and Bangalore, school kids, college students and 40 plus uncles and aunties all played an active part in the extravaganza. A sight that we rarely see in Mumbai. I can recollect only one ‘uncle’ in Mumbai who is a passionate and a regular quizzer. One hardly ever sees school students at open quizzes.

The prelims went off well with all the 30 questions getting cracked by some or the other team. With a highest score of 22.5 and a cut-off of 16, six teams joined the two college teams that had already qualified through the online prelims.

When three of the first four questions in the finals went unanswered, Dhananjay and me were a little concerned that the quiz might turn out to be ultra-tough. But when the likes of Jayashree Mohanka and Souvik Guha grace the stage, you can’t expect an ordinary quiz, can you? The lead changed hands quite regularly in the initial phases and with almost 1/3rd of the quiz done, it was Charanpreet Singh & partner who led, albeit by a slender margin. The duo seemed quite surprised and jocularly asked, “Can we stop the quiz at this stage?”, prompting peals of laughter from the teams and audience alike. Unfortunately for them, the show had to go on and the doyen of Indian quizzing, Souvik Guha, decided to join the party. With some intelligent guesses and some matter-of-fact answers, he and Dr. Soubhadra Chakraborthy steered clear of others and won in a canter followed by Jayashree Mohanka & Sounak Chakrabarti on second spot.

I personally look forward to ‘high adrenaline moments’ in a quiz – when a participant cracks a bloody tough one or when the crowd appreciates a good question. And the Kolkata quizzers gave us those ‘moments’ and more! What is most delightful is that people seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves like they were on a picnic. Bantering at a co-quizzer’s lame guess to helping us correct elims sheets; participating with the objective of having fun and not being desperate to win are some of the traits that distinguishes Kolkata quizzers. One could sense a certain purity in their love for quizzing, a richness in their knowledge base, a lightness of touch in their delivery of answers and a nimble energy raging within them.

The students of IIFT, Kolkata organized the event with utmost perfection. The venue, the screen, LCD projectors, sound systems, mics were all spot-on. No technical glitches, whatsoever. Right from receiving us at the airport to conducting the event to dropping us back at the departure lounge, Jagadish Sahu and his team of students were meticulous to the final detail.

And then the dinner with Sukrit, Sandeep, Ankit, Chaitanya and Jagadish was the icing on the cake. Add to that the almost-celebrity treatment that Karan Rampal, our official ‘guide’ for the trip gave us. Aah, what a weekend! This was one satisfying quizzing experience (unlike this disaster). Here’s hoping the quizzing culture of Kolkata remains as energetic and vibrant as ever.

Stereotyping Women

Surya — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 09:03:00 +0000

The year was 1998. I was in class eight, seated on the second bench, English period. Our teacher, Miss Lipika was telling us about gender disparity rampant in rural India in all its forms – infanticide, dowry killings, illiteracy among women, sex-trafficking, prostitution,… As young, inquisitive students, we were all ears to the lecture and we also had various presentations and group discussions on the same. As a sensitive 12-year-old, I held on to the talks that women are indeed, discriminated against, in the villages and non-urban townships.

Life went on. This whole ‘gender disparity’ thought was just there… stagnant. I never really thought much about it. My parents gave me a good education and made me a fine and competent human being. I never had to fight for my rights or ask for the same.

However, from the past few days, owing to some errant incidents and discussions with family members and friends, the ‘gender disparity’ chapter has re-opened its hallowed pages in my mind and is fluttering at a furious pace. Thoughts galore… and since these thoughts are peppered across various subjects and dimensions, this post is rather haywire in terms of prose.

I do realise that many a things, in life, are looked at differently for either genders. What is normal for a boy to do is considered not-so-normal, ‘indecent’, non-modest or in some cases, serious offence for a girl. It’s ingrained in our societal norms and methods of life. Most have religious connotations while some don’t.

Women and Hindu traditions

We usually tend to believe that Hindu traditions and practices ‘allow’ more freedom to women than any other religion. People argue that Islam asks women to sport the veil while we let our women do what they want, wear what they want. May be true. I don’t know!

However, observe this. During pre-vedic times, women wore the sacred thread and also had the right to study the vedas and perform rites and rituals. They could attend even funerals. Post-vedic and modern times deny this right to a woman. So the sacred thread, the gayatri mantra, father’s last rites and the vedapathashalas are meant only for the men. Though, the Arya Samaj allows women to wear the sacred thread, the question is how many parents in India, ask their daughters, “do you WANT to wear one too, like your brother?” It’s usually taken for granted that it’s not meant for them. Recently, when one of my female friends performed her parents’ last rites, people around wondered, ‘what the hell is SHE doing?’

(Note* – I personally, do not believe in any religion or religious practices.)

A woman carries the mangalsutra (taali in south) as a symbol of her marriage but a man doesn’t. You can never tell a man is married, just by looking at him. Women have accepted this as a tradition, and way of life. Some of my friends say, “That’s the way it’s always been.” And then, there are men who wouldn’t like to see empty necks of their wives (without the mangalsutra or the bindi.) It becomes a huge issue amongst family members that the woman of the house was spotted without it. This, then extends to its sub-branches like mandatory green bangles, red and white bangles, nine-yard sarees, dupatta over the head, etc. The ‘kanyadaan’ and prostration to the husband are examples of the same.

Women and sexuality

In India, even today, women are largely looked at as sex objects. Our television commercials (read deodorant ads), stand-up comedians, movies, songs, etc. all carry and communicate in them connotations of a woman’s sexuality. The commercialization and prostitution of humour has made a woman’s body a laughable affair to the extent that people don’t even want to see that it’s being done in bad light. Such is the so-called fun of the matter!

I completely detest humour that’s based on a woman’s body and her sexuality, more often seen in Hindi and Tamizh films. I remember this Tamizh movie where Rajnikanth is having an argument with his female lead that a man can always do better than a woman in all aspects of life. To win the bet, he takes off his shirt and walks the streets, nude and then mocks at the girl if she can do the same. The girl shies away. Sexiest is not the word. And if you thought that this kinda slapstick humour exists only in south Indian movies, think again. The ‘sthan‘ joke (indicating the breast of a woman) in Chatur’s speech in the movie 3 idiots, is a classic example of how, even today, the inherent male chauvinism in the society, makes fun of the woman’s body. The fact that that scene from 3 idiots is being circulated everywhere and people watch it and enjoy it,(women included), is testimony to this. Rich humour/satire is dead in today’s world and… Well, I digress…

But this fact of a woman’s sexuality being in the discussion always, also has its roots in old Hindu traditions. Many families, even in present India, celebrate and conduct vast ceremonies and havans when a girl in the family, begins to menstruate. The other day, I was having a discussion with a friend, and she told me that it is celebrated because the girl is now, considered to be ‘fertile.’ Sick as it can get, everything is looked at from the ability-to-conceive point of view. And once she becomes ‘bodily mature’, she is asked to be gentle, laugh softly, not hop around, walk with elegance, mellow-down in general. I remember my Hindi teacher saying, “tum ladki ho… zara susheelta dikhaao.”

Its sad, really that even her basic behaviour, mannerisms and dressing sense is governed by these obsolete practices. In many homes, the girl is almost ostracised and kept away, during her menstrual time, ‘coz she’s considered ‘impure.’ Don’t believe me? Ask your grandmom.

Women and nudity

A few months back, two of my male friends planned to go to Bangalore by road/car. They said it would take them two whole days to reach there and were pretty kicked about it. I too wanted to tag along as it sounded like a fun trip. They seemed to be disinterested in my going along and when asked, one of them said, “You wouldn’t be comfortable. We are saying this for your good.” When I insisted, I got the answer, “If, on the way, we want to pee, we’ll get off and do so. You obviously cannot.” When I think about it, I fail to understand why a girl should (is expected to) feel embarrassed while a boy, doing the same thing doesn’t have to.

Though men and women are born equal, nudity has always been a tangent where the parallelisms of the lines become blur. To the extent that many girls of my age don’t even realise that they are being discriminated against. Nudity has always been a point of debate and gender disparity has poked its filthy nose into it, for years now. Men can be shirtless, can wear shorts, can sport any part of their body freely and nobody would take offense. I have lots of female friends who can wear shorts only at home and that too, in the absence of the male members of the house. I, for one, wear shorts at home. My father lets me because he loves me a lot. But the point I am raising here is that though, we are all born free; we are bound by these invisible (mostly baseless), shackles of societal ‘norms’ and ‘rules.’ So, if a woman wants to wear shorts or a revealing top, her husband, her father, her brother, her male friend has to be comfortable with it. He has to ‘allow’ her to do so. And if the word, ‘allow’ comes into the picture then, ‘freedom’ has no meaning, in the true sense of the word.

And then there are men who go as far as to say, that skimpily/ ‘indecently’ dressed women mustn’t cry foul if they get molested or raped. The point being, “men will be men. If you are in your shorts, don’t cry if they letch at you, molest you or even rape you.” This is like going to a sweet shop and telling the shopkeeper, “don’t keep your sweets where I can see them, or I’ll eat them.”

Shirley Chisholm once said, “The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says, “It’s a girl.””

Numerous thinkers, feminists; myriad articles, talk-shows, debates and blog posts wont do any good. Our society has been conditioned to soak-up to the norms and traditions. It’s almost like it’s in the blood. It’s a way of life. A woman will still be treated as subordinate, unequal in matters concerning day-to-day lives and the world at large. Her body will always be considered an ornament, rather than an instrument.

You don’t necessarily have to be anti-man to be pro-woman, you know? But that’s what a lot of people will infer from this post. Things haven’t changed. Things never will… oh, the cynic..

Tharoor and Karna

Surya — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 04:34:00 +0000

Yesterday, my good friend, Bharat sent me this brilliant article from Outlook India by Vinod Mehta. The article dissects, deliberates and drives a point about the mallu mud-hook who has had the media chugging after him time and again – Shashi Tharoor.

http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?265175

The life and times of Shashi Tharoor resemble a morality tale. Here is a man who begins life with an extra-long silver spoon in his mouth. Clever, even brilliant, awesomely well-educated, lucky enough to land one of the most coveted jobs on the planet, author of several critically acclaimed books, he comes within a whisker of being elected Secretary General of the UN, manages to win a Lok Sabha seat, becomes a minister in the privileged foreign affairs ministry…

I cant help but notice the striking similarity between Shashi Tharoor and the character of Karna from The Mahabharata. And pardon me for using a few phrases from Mehta’s write-up – just to make the comparison more interesting. (Excerpts from the article are in a different font and italicized)

The life and times of Karna (too) resemble a morality tale. He too was a man who began life with a silver spoon, and also a golden kavachh and kundal. Remember he was really a Kaunteya – born to Kunti & the Son God. Clever as a fox, very well-educated and trained under the great, Guru Parashurama (who was also Bhishma’s guru), lucky enough to land one of the most coveted kingdoms to rule (Anga, one of the 16 greatest nations of the time – Solas Mahajanapadas), most acclaimed leader of the Kaurava sena during the Kurukshetra war (lead the side after Bhishma’s fall and no rules were broken under his leadership), the only one on the Kaurava side, who was most respected by Krishna, the Lord of Lords. During pandavas’ exile, Karna, in order to establish Duryodhana as the king of the world, conquered numerous kingdoms.

From a very early age, he was seen as the genius boy. Once, as he watched Drona teach the chakravyuha to Ashwathama (Drona’s son), Karna wisely pointed out to guru Drona, that Ashwathama was neither a kshatriya nor a rajputra (king’s son). This was a virtual slap on the face of Drona because he declined from teaching Karna, claiming that he would play guru only to either rajputras or kshatriyas. Karna went on to become the sarvashreshta dhanurdhar (supreme archer) albeit the protection Arjuna got from all sides to hold the title. Karna was also the only one, other than Arjuna, who could have struck through the marma matsya (moving fish) during the Draupadi swayamvar.

His fairy godmother had bestowed on him another curse: Karna was fearless and on-the-face when he spoke of his willingness or unwillingness of something. (Just as Mr Tharoor’s frank tweets or as Mehta points out – Vijay Hazare to single malt whisky to global finance to jehadi terrorism.) I wouldn’t say Karna was articulate in his speech but the clarity of thought and precise verbal message are two things that he displayed brazenly.

Karna openly opposed to all of Shakuni mama’s flimflams ranging from lakshagrah (palace of wax designed to kill pandavas) to Draupadi vastraharan to the rigged dice game. Karna drove in his point to guru Kripacharya’s accusations of him being a shudra and could not consequently compete with Arjuna. He asked Krishna to mind his own business when the later told him of his birth origins thereby asking him to join the pandavas in the war. He didn’t hesitate to give away his only protection (from Arjuna’s wrath) – kavachh and kundal stating that he was the daan-veer. Such clarity with words and thoughts…

Self-doubt, is a phrase Karna had never heard. If he ever got into trouble; if the itihaas (history) questioned him about his blunders, he was sure his well-formed arguments and verbal valour would see him through. And Karna did get into trouble because albeit he opposed the lakshagrah, vastraharan, chausar ka khel, etc. he always stood by Duryodhana owing to his obligation/friendship to the latter. Karna was the symbol of dharma residing in the house of adharma. He was the ‘other’ Vikarna.

So, where is the morality tale? What is it that the mahaveer Karna shouldn’t have forgotten? Albeit, he was the best, with the most aggressive and dazzling mind and talent, he was his own worst enemy. He placed the obligation-to-Duryodhana card higher up in life, than dharma. Yes, his conscience pricked and pierced at him, hard. His mind did a ‘Karna calling Karna’ several times, but the unfortunate, egoistic, jealous warrior never paid heed. Karna was brought down by Karna.

Copy Cat Aamir?

Surya — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:46:00 +0000

This post is not a rant or a post in the true sense of the word. Its rather a verbal manifestation of my disappointment with the so called ‘perfectionist’ of our times. Especially after Lagaan, I thought Aamir Khan is one of those people who does sensible movies and is also a sticker for perfection. At the time of Rang De Basanti, the preacher in Aamir Khan showed its face when he said on NDTV, “You be the change, you be the politician, the youth should change the system… blah blah” I thought it was a lame way to market a film that was nothing but fantasy. I mean seriously, isn’t it just a dream to be able to kill politicians at will? I guess he refused to come out of the I-will-change-the-system mode and its evident in 3-idiots.

Inspite of this, I loved Taare Zameen Par for its simplicity in portraying the mind of a young child and his battle with the much-criticized education system. But after doing a little research, I realise that perhaps none of what Aamir churns out of his kitty is original. Though, the character of Ishaan Awasthi was (shall we say) ‘inspired’ by Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes fame, I didn’t think Aamir, the debutant director would actually lift scenes cut to cut from the classic comic strip.

The Maths test/quiz that Ishaan takes in the film is a straight lift. Take a look at this:

While, the one above is a direct lift, the two pieces below can be called ‘inspirations’ – one where Ishaan fights the shower in the bathroom (Calvin fights rain) and two where he just leaves school one day, and that followed by parents’ meeting with teacher and principal:
And as I toyed with this idea of whether these scenes are really inspired from C&H strips or could they be a mere co-incidence, Dhananjay brought this book titled ‘Thank You, Mr Falker‘ to my notice. Here’s a synopsis of the story -

Quoting from the site:
“Patricia Polacco is now one of America’s most loved children’s book writers and illustrators, but once upon a time, she was a little girl named Trisha starting school. Trisha could paint and draw beautifully, but when she looked at words on a page, all she could see was jumble. Her classmates made matters worse by calling her ‘dummy’ and ‘toad.’ It took a very special teacher to recognize little Trisha’s dyslexia: Mr. Falker, who encouraged her to overcome her reading disability. Patricia Polacco will never forget him, and neither will we.”

I am thoroughly disappointed at what Aamir and Crew seem to be doing. This hurts me because I loved Taare Zameen Par and most of all, I am a big big fan of Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin & Hobbes. The copying streak seems to have continued with this year’s so-called great film, 3 idiots.

And talking about 3 idiots, here are a few copied moments -

1) The ‘why didn’t they use pencils instead?’ question by Rancho
2) When the three friends go searching for Rancho you see a man clicking snaps of burqa-clad women
3) When the prof refuses to accept their papers, Rancho mixes them with the rest

With not-so-stringent Plagiarism laws in our country, and with people raving about Aamir ‘Perfectionist’ Khan, I guess movies like 3 idiots will continue to enjoy the acclaim and awards. And the media will continue to call him a ‘great.’ I guess my friend said it right. “Aamir Khan uses the media as shoes.”

It doesn’t make for great screenplay when you just physically manifest old idioms like ‘putting the toothpaste back in the tube’ and copying internet jokes and forwards. The least he could have done is to give due credit to the source. I don’t thing it would have taken away anything from his film. And since he hasn’t , I guess Aamir should join the league of people who think ‘we are born too late in the world to do anything original’ and his movies (at least these two) should be listed here.

Update: Just found that the C & H ‘inspirations’ have been covered here and here

Quizzing Misadventures

Surya — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:15:00 +0000

This happened last week at a premium B-school:

We (QuizMonks; the research team) reach the venue of the quiz two hours before the scheduled time for a dry run.

1) The event head has flown off to Delhi to participate in some other quiz. (Bravo!)

2) The assistant in-charge takes us to the venue when there’s hardly 30 minutes left for the quiz to start.

3) The LCD switches off every 2 minutes; there is no mic; no sound cord for the laptop to test the audio questions.

4) A volunteer gets a cord from somewhere after much delay and the audio works fine. (Phew!)

5) The volunteer says, “Since the sound cord is put in the system, the mic wouldn’t work. Dhananjay, can you shout?” (It almost prompted Dhananjay to reply, “Yes. Can I start with you?”)

6) We realize the LCD is a pain. The assistant in-charge asks a corporate participant to stand on a chair and rectify the LCD that’s mounted on the ceiling. (You see, the organizers don’t believe in being formal. What the hell! In fact, they don’t believe in being courteous either.)

7) After much delay, they change the venue of the elims to a different classroom. All participants are asked to move there.

At the new venue, the LCD and mics are fine, but the audio doesn’t work fine. A random volunteer says, “Guys, please don’t delay anymore. We are late already. Let’s start the quiz.”

9) We start the elims and Dhananjay has to change two audio/video questions on the spot, as the organizers couldn’t get the audio glitches smoothened.

10) The screen at the main lawns (where the finals are to happen) is a tiny one mounted on a tripod. We ask the volunteers to change it. One of them tells us, “It will be visible. Don’t worry. Anyway, the quizmaster would read out, na?”

11) We threaten we wont do the quiz if they don’t get a bigger screen. They use a flex/banner on the backdrop and the finals that were to start at 6.30 pm gets postponed until 7 pm. And then, they realize that the director is on his way. So the quiz finally starts at around 7.45 pm. The Quizmaster had arrived at 5.15 pm. (Who cares about sticking to the schedule!)

12) The ultra smart sound guy keeps on fidgeting with the speakers and every time an audio is played, no one is able to hear it. Every single time, the host has to keep on announcing, “Someone please get the audio straight.” Every single time.

All these goof-ups, despite giving them clear instructions (in writing) a couple of weeks before the quiz about the exact requirements; including, the size of the screen.

Just a couple of weeks prior to the above-mentioned disaster, at another premium B-school, the organizers look unprepared for the event. A tiny screen for a massive auditorium; winners being given post-dated cheques without even informing them about it, etc. The cribber-event-head tells us in a high-handed tone, “Dhananjay, I thought you’d bring with you at least 50 corporate teams. Still, we get only 27 corporate teams. What ya?” We make it clear to him that it’s not the responsibility of the research team to get teams.

Personally, I feel that most of these people conduct events to add bullet points on their CV. Everything boils down to that. What a farce! Quite a few organizers speak with us as if we are their slaves. I think they take this liberty with us, because we aren’t like the other quizmasters who strut around with attitude up their sleeves, stay on campus and yet arrive late for quizzes, order food at odd hours, ask people to postpone their flights since the quiz would run late and conduct the quiz according to their whims and fancies. Surprisingly (or, maybe not), they are the ones who are respected; students address them as ‘sir’ and talk to them like they were the bosses. These are men of honour!

When Dhananjay and I conceived the idea of a quizzing research company, we were very clear about what we wanted. Dhananjay loved quizzing and I always wanted to do something on my own. We approached two of our friends who also shared similar interests and just like that, we got started. Our motto was clear – to offer quality research that’s unmatched in the country and conduct quizzes where the focus is on the questions and not, the accompanying shenanigans. We would slog our asses; stay overnight at each others’ places, work and re-work on questions, re-frame them to make them look sleeker and yet informative; think about 100 odd things to make the quiz a good mix of easy/tough questions, keep on racking our brains to cover questions on varied topics, etc.

Some unsaid rules we follow (or, try our best to) religiously are –

1) No compromise on research no matter how ‘commercial’ the event/quiz might have to be.

2) We will never be late for our quizzes because, we value our and everybody else’s time. We reach the venue at least an hour and a half prior to the scheduled time and do a dry run.

3) Complete the quiz a week before the event, so that we can review it over the next few days and make it better.

4) A post-event review and take necessary steps to make it better next time.

5) We ask participants for their suggestions after every quiz and if they make sense (and they generally do), earnestly work towards them.

Maybe, we should throw some attitude. Maybe, we should arrive late. We should perhaps ask the organizers to serve us spicy Chinese food and Kiwi-fruit juice next time. We must insist on a chauffer driven car. We must repeat questions from previous quizzes. I think all this will make QuizMonks more coveted in the eyes of the organizers.

Sigh!

I want to sing item number

Surya — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 14:14:00 +0000

I am an aspiring playback singer. Two years back, I got the contact number of singer Shubha Mudgal through a friend. Shubhaji has been able to successfully fuse classical music with Indi-pop to deliver some very good songs in the past. I was extremely thrilled at the prospect of meeting her in person. With a request to train me in classical music, I called up Shubhaji. She asked me to meet up at her Khar residence and I couldn’t wait for the moment of truth.

My dad and I were seated in her drawing room when she came in and greeted us. After some initial talk, she asked me why I wanted to learn music and what I wanted to sing in future. I said, “I want to be a playback singer and be part of mainstream Bollywood singing.” She asked me to sing. I did. After some words of appreciation for my voice and singing skills she said, “You know, all youngsters unfortunately want to sing Bollywood songs these days. I am really appalled at what you said. Not one person says, ‘I want to sing classical.’” She went on about how much important it is for youngsters like me to abstain from remixes; how much item numbers have spoilt Indian culture and what harm contemporary songs have done to Indian music.

The other day, I heard Shubhaji’s voice… in an item song called ‘Bichua’ for Rakhi Sawant in the film 1920. Well, looks like Shubhaji only likes to preach, not practice!

The phone call

Surya — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:12:00 +0000

The sharp afternoon sunlight stung her eyes, reflecting off the tar covered roof of the building and made them water. Yet she couldn’t resist looking at the pigeons in the alcove above the terrace door. Two male ones trying to woo a female. One of them won and the other flew away after the long battle, then, one false move, and Swooosh! Away flew the female, leaving the ‘winner’ alone on the ledge.

She gripped her cell phone tighter in her hand and carefully made her way back towards the other door. She would now have to weave her way carefully back to her department, making it look like just another trip for work matters. One false move,she thought to herself. The building corridors felt cold and dark after the searing sunshine outside.Had it been a false move, or the perfect one? The one that won the heart and hand of the she-pigeon or the one that lost favor with her? The answers could wait for now. She would think later.
For now all she had to do was act busy and important. And go back to her seat before people started missing her presence.————–
“Coffee?”
She jerked back to reality at the sound of her colleague’s voice. “Sure!” she replied, picking up the cue.
“Where were you?” He whispered on the way out. “Boss was looking for you but I said you had gone to the legal department for the final agreement. OK?”
“Thanks! Arrey yaar, it was unavoidable, got a sudden call and had to go away.” Luckily the agreement is in place – all she needed to do was take a printout. Her colleague was amazing.
“Call? Didn’t see you around. Where were you? I thought you had left office, so covered for you. Bata to deti yaar. By the way, did you hear…”
Relieved, she let the conversation wander. But she knew he will not forget the ‘curious incident of the hush-hush phone call’ so soon. It would come up during dinner later. But for now, she would let things be.————
On the way back home she let her mind wander towards the conversation on the phone. To look for loopholes, mistakes. But somehow she found herself thinking about the roof. The searing heat of the sun coupled with the coolness of the November air. The Green trees in the vicinity which she had never noticed before. And the Huge, monstrous coolers and water heaters atop the roof – the pipes criss-crossing the way roof top – the pile of construction rubble in the corner. It was surprising how she had never gone there in her long tenure here. Would all this be there in Chennai? What would it be like over there? When will she have to move, if at all…

Wait. She was jumping the gun. It was important that the person on the other end of the line found her suitable too. What had she said? She could not remember details of the conversation. This was ridiculous! The conversation had lasted a little less than an hour, a long time. Yet she could not remember a single sentence. She remembered it spanned a lot of topics, including the move to Chennai. Would she be alright with it? Would she be able to adjust?

She would need to tell him (her colleague). Yet she was hesitant. He was a dear friend, but a colleague too. Infact, a colleague first and friend later. But another such call and he will not leave her alone – haunting her about her mysterious phone calls. Telling him was an important decision – after all it had major career implications for her. Not to mention location implications. How would he take it?

She flipped open her cell phone and dialed his number. “Hey. When do we meet for dinner? And where? Lets go someplace quiet.”
“Sure. What’s wrong with you today? You seem rather pensive since afternoon. All morning you were jittery and glued to your comp. You OK? Want to postpone the dinner and rest tonight?”
“Uh… no. I’m fine. Something’s come up, so wanted to tell you about it.”
“Okay… how does 9 pm sound? Ill pick you up. You choose the place.”

——
“So, madam what is this news? But first tell me, how are you feeling now?”
“Oh, much better!” Shall we order first? I’m starving.
“Yeah, I didn’t have much lunch either. Neither did you, or did you? Neha was mentioning…”

It was difficult to stick to one topic with him. He was vivacious and full of tidbits. But once he remembered something, he would not let go. She waited patiently through his useless small talk and gave him her usual piece of mind wherever required. The food was served. Delicious Parathas roasted with stuffed vegetables.

That’s when she told him. She knew he would not like it. How much, she didn’t know.
“You will move away?! But you never mentioned it!”
“um… yeah, it never came up. Was a little sudden. But I liked..”
“Sudden? How can a decision to move away be ‘sudden’? And such a big thing? How come you never told me or discussed with me?”

The Parathas were not as delicious suddenly. They were late for the movie, but it was a relief of sorts to part ways that night.

—–
The days were difficult to pass. She could not determine how much importance to give her mundane everyday work anymore. He was a little upset initially but was surprisingly supportive. It was her decision he said. “Just let me know when you need my help.” He seemed almost aloof. Or was she imagining it? She didn’t know whether it was because she had told him late, or because of the news itself. It did not seem to help if she told him that no one else knew. Not yet, anyway. But then, they had promised to go ahead together, helping each other.

She still had not told him where she had answered the call. The roof was imprinted in her mind, and she did not want unwanted visitors there. He, however, was sure to tell others about the sanctum for phone calls. And then her chance of a private word and moment was destroyed. Instead she would tell him when it was confirmed that she was leaving.

Often she would remember the private moment on the roof. The moment when she calmed her nerves after the long conversation, after the day-long wait for the call. And watched the pigeons. Had she said something wrong? Would the answer be a ‘no’ after so many days of acquaintance with the person on the other end of the phone? She herself was not too sure that she wanted to move to Chennai. But then everything else was right in place. It wouldn’t be too bad, she told herself.

The phone calls had reassured her that it was the final step. Now they had to get back to her. She checked her mails. Checked her phone for messages. Checked her phone in case there any calls she had missed. Called home and told her parents of her decision to go ahead with this in case they also felt the same. And waited, hopelessly. She toyed with her mother’s suggestion of making the call herself, but then decided against it. “We don’t want to look desperate, ma”, she had argued.

She gave up hope. They did not like her. It was wrong of her to harp on the moving to Chennai bit. Her false move. The pigeon had flown away. On the way to bed she decided to try one more time and opened her phone messages.

There it was – the notification of a new mail! Finally, some response!
Breathlessly she opened her email waited for the page to load. Waiting to read the first two lines. Would it be positive? She wished it to be so…

“Dear Ms…,
We are pleased to…”

——

“Hi! Got the mail last night. I’m selected! And not for Chennai. I will be located in the Mumbai office itself, then if I’m ready to move…”

“Wow! Wonderful news! I’m so happy for you. And that you are not going!”

“Thanks! I can barely believe it, its great isn’t it?”

“Yeah. You don’t have to worry about Chennai anymore. And now, you can at least give me lessons on Interviews. Dont back out this time. Like you did while applying here.”

“I told you, it was an unexpected referral and I’m sorrrry. But I can refer you here now!”

“How is your guy taking it? Happy I hope!”

“Of Course! He is delighted. More so because I stay here.”

“And we can still meet often enough for our dinners.”

“Yes. And listen.”

“Yes?”

“Tomorrow, remind me to take you to the Roof. That’s where I gave the interviews. But don’t look at the pigeons. One false move can spoil everything, but that one thought can make you very, very worried.”

Jodha Akbar – My Opinion

Surya — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 03:12:00 +0000

For starters, I must confess that I am a fan of Ashutosh Gowarikar… I loved Lagaan and Swades and the latter left a deep impact on my mind.Most of all, the goodness in Ashutosh’s films is what appeals me. His films are usually very honest and render the message straight off; no pretensions, no hyped-up stuff. Or So I thought. But in this movie, he tries to, in fact, hype the sets, the jewellery, etc. by panning the camera through them. Jodha Akbar has its own positives like the music, a few well-shot scenes , etc.

Some good ones like the one in which Akbar (Hrithik) fights with an elephant – elegantly picturised; war scenes have been done very well – massive, mostly copied though; also romance scenes between Akbar and Jodha – I have always loved the way Ashutosh portrays romance – both in Lagaan and Swades, romance between the hero and his girl is pure and beautiful; he never pollutes such scenes and they never turn into vulgar-skin-showing-feeling-up-each-other types and that is exactly what I like about them.

The background score, music and choreography are very satisfying; very apt to situations in the film. I simply love Rahman’s composition of Khwajaji; Azeem-o-shaan shehenshah was beautifully choreographed, though more like a school drill its vibrant. Rahman is the only drastically versatile music composer we have today. He dives completely into the genre of the film and brings out some gems like these. What a contrast, in say, a Rang de Basanti and Jodhaa Akbar.

Somewhere Ashutosh has digressed with the script. The movie turns out to be more about glorifying Akbar rather than being a love story. The entire thing about bringing out Akbar’s greatness and humility overshadowed the main theme of the film – the love story.

Notice a major contradiction in Akbar’s character too. During the film, one gets a feeling that Akbar was very patriotic towards his sar-zameen, Hindustan. He says he cannot leave Hindustan at the mercy of any Tom, Dick and Harry and mouths more dialogues to that effect. This clearly shows how much he is in love with Hindustan and therefore is a patriot.
But we must remember that he was also a ruler which means he was greedy for more and more land; he wanted to rule over entire Hindustan. The contradiction in the character comes herein – a patriot never wants to rule a nation, he just wants it to be free; which means Akbar is not patriotic (as shown in the film) but is just possessive of something he owns. So, for him, Hindustan is more of a trophy (that he would want to win over) than a land that he loves and can make sacrifices for it. Though, I don’t know whether this part of Akbar’s character wasthe director’s imagination or Akbar was really like that.

Hrithik cant play a character role like that of Akbar. Prithviraj Kapoor as Akbar seems to have got etched in my mind. That look of pride in his face, the elegant king-like walk, the erect shoulders and the bitterly eyes speaking volumes; all this was certainly missing in Hrithik. He did his usual Dhoom 2 walk everywhere.

All in all an OK film. A period film after a long while… Watch it at least once.
Cheers!

I will build a faith

Surya — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 09:34:00 +0000

I will advocate a religion. Someday I will preach it, and I am sure there will be lots of takers. Some of the dictates will be as follows.

- My religion will have God/Gods, however, who or how I shall think of when the time comes as per public likes/dislikes. Chances are that it could be me Anyways, Gods will never be the same always. They will change with each each season.

- Truth, of course, will be preferred. However, when unavoidable white lies are allowed.

- You will be forced to think. There will be weekly gatherings where you will have to reach by solving a clue game before the religion will be propounded to you.

- You will be forced to participate in weekly gatherings that consist of PJs (phaltu jokes). All followers of this faith must bring along at least 5 such jokes and should be good listeners of the same.

- Mailing, chatting and exchange of interesting articles on a weekly basis will be a must, discussions on some of them will be mandatory on the weekly gatherings.

- Working will be permissible for not more than 3 days a week. Holidays will be decided later, they are the days which shall constitute discussions on the forums (refer #3 above)

- There will be a festival every month lasting for at least 5 days where everyone is supposed to do one activity they enjoy/ need to do. It may include eating out, singing, boozing, sleeping, learning something, or even lazing at home and reading book(s). The festival shall not on any count coincide with the designated weekly holidays.

- Music will be the standard medium of prayer. An hour is a compulsory daily dose for meditation; more is preferred. Type of music depends upon individual taste. Takes you closer to the Lord(s). Rock or Classical music, of course, will be preferred.

- Everyone will have complimentary access to a library (physical and web-based) by virtue of being a believer of this religion.

The basic dictate of the religion will be -

- Happy living through peaceful oblivion (also practicing a certain colourful 3 letter word).

- Reduction of ill vibes between people through reduction in bitching (except of course where unavoidable, and not more than once in a conversation.)

- Doing, instead of cribbing – yeah it’s a pain, but in this religion there has to be some work after all! One needs to work on one’s cribs.